Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
