hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I want to have your abortion
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
