Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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