Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
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