come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize