the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
