I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize