I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Text me some of your sweat
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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