Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
