Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
