No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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