Plan B is the new Plan A
She announced her abortion via fbk
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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