all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
