he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
sarcasm needs its own font
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
