just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
