so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Why can't burritos get me drunk
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
