Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
