It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
