:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
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dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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