I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
