So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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