True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
