are you so shy because you have an std?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
