don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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