I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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