Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
