Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
