Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
