how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
