the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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