How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
