New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
