how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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