I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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