I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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