yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
