Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.