I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
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just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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