Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
