he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
