did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
