It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
