I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
