fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize