She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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