Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
