Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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