Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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