I think im going to throw up on grandma
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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