I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
