They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
