I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
