mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just gift wrapped bread.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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