He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize