i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Also, beer. Big fan.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
