Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Randomize