help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
